Give Yourself A Gold Medal

By Rob Wrubel, CFP^®

Family members living with special needs people look for inspiration each day. We look to stay motivated to encourage reading, walking or speech. We need to stay motivated to help family members regain motor skills and teach learning patterns. We need to stay motivated to experience each moment as one on a fulfilling journey rather than a setback to pain and suffering.

We must remember to  celebrate the victories and achievements in our life and the life of our special needs family member. We can use those moments of excellence to keep us inspired to learn more, focus on our dreams and live the life we want to live.

We have much to learn from the special needs person in our life. We can learn perseverance, joy and appreciation. We can learn to focus our attention on the few parts of life we find most important. We can learn to rely on others.

Last night, I watched the medal ceremony where Alexandre Bilodeau received his gold medal in the 2010 Winter Olympics. NBC showed a stirring and emotional story on the skier featuring his quest for the gold and the role his brother played in his getting there.

Alexandre’s older brother Frederic has cerebral palsy.

Alexandre looked to his brother for inspiration. He found the dedication and support he needed to continue on his path to skiing gold from his brother.

The now famous and celebrated Alexandre —the first Canadian to win a gold medal in an Olympics held in Canada—credits his brother with cerebral palsy for his success.

Alexandre finished 11th at the last Olympics in Turin, Italy. He was not happy about the performance. His brother helped put things in perspective by reminding Alexandre that he has just competed in the Olympics—realizing a dream. He had done something few people ever have a chance to do.

Where did Frederic get this perspective?

Doctors told Frederic’s parents that the condition would worsen over time. They told his family that Frederic would not be able to walk after age 10.

Frederic and his family listened, but did not become bound by the doctor’s orders.

Frederic Bilodeau proved the medical community wrong. He walks today—and skied until recently. He provides inspiration to those around him by his determination to keep moving and to be part of the world around him.

Families I meet and work with go through periods of ups and downs with their financial planning, life planning and life with a special needs member.

Building wealth, reducing debt and living within a budget takes commitment over time. Putting money away to fund education and trust funds requires changing our actions today for a future goal that sometimes seems unclear.

Life planning becomes even more complex. How will we know what type of life will be available for our special needs person in 20 or 30 years? Will she be able to live independently? Will there be non-profit organizations to play a role? Will the people appointed today as guardian and trustee be able to handle the job in the future?

Most important, it is hard to back up from the day-to-day obligations of life to focus on those goals. How do you set an appointment to meet with your advisory team when you are running behind on therapy, school work and shopping?

You have a life requiring hard work and dedication to achieve your planning goals. You have days of activity where you do not always feel like you are making progress. You have just come out of a meeting with a doctor, school committee or therapist and it does not seem like you are making progress.

Put yourself in the shoes of Alexandre Bilodeau for a few minutes. His training for the Olympics meant sacrifice. He had to put hours in the gym. He skied countless runs in a sport that pounds the knees and back. He did not know if he would have the chance to get back to the Olympics even after years of work.

He continued. He looked to the small steps his disabled brother could make and found lessons for his own training. He kept to a training regimen inspired by the outlook of his brother.

Celebrate the small victories and achievements. Most of us will not have the chance to stand on the medal podium and represent our country for all the world to see. We all have the ability to enjoy moments in our life to keep us excited about today. We can each give ourselves the gold medal for a job well done, whatever that job is for us that we thought difficult or impossible. We learn from practice, overcoming adversity and soldiering on in difficult times. Take time to give yourself the medal you deserve.

February 2010